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In their 2011 book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships, neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam emphasized the importance of variation in the sexual engagement of men.“Males of most species are wired to become aroused by novelty,” they wrote, citing studies that found that rats who seemed sexually exhausted after mating with a female would regain interest when presented with a new partner, and that human men lost sexual arousal when presented with the same pornographic images but maintained it when presented with a variety.Talk to enough people about their sexual development, and you’ll get the sense that fetishes can evolve over time, even without any basis in childhood — Freud be damned.

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It wasn’t through anything but experience that I discovered my aforementioned love of threesomes.

I became such an enthusiast, in fact, that my regular requests for them threatened, and in some cases, undid, relationships with boyfriends.

In The History of Sexuality, French philosopher Michel Foucault wrote of the emergence of the homosexual identity in the 19th century.

His view of the proliferation of sexual variety caused by society’s inextricable binding of power and sexuality prompted him to explain: “Modern society is perverse, not in spite of its Puritanism or as if from a backlash provoked by its hypocrisy; it is actual fact, and directly, perverse…

Another study conducted by researchers at Middlesex University in England found that almost 40 percent of teen girls and over 50 percent of teen boys considered the sex in the pornography they viewed to be realistic.

Further anecdotal quotes from subjects suggested at least a few of them were wary of the expectations porn was setting for them.

For the sake of refuting bigoted rhetoric, people speak about sexuality in absolute terms — it is innate, immutable, fixed.

Though a confining box to store your identity may seem a tantalizing refuge, it’s a false one.

A visit to a gay sex party in Brooklyn last October left me unsatisfied, in every way.

In reality, the last thing I wanted to do in that concrete basement with black-painted walls, communal beds, slings, and booths affording semi-privacy at best, was have sex.

It is through the isolation, intensification, and consolidation of peripheral sexualities that the relations of power to sex and pleasure branched out and multiplied, measured the body, and penetrated modes of conduct.” Society’s relationship with perversion is now more efficient than ever. The internet can alleviate isolation by confirming what one desires privately; it can provide inspiration for pushing one’s boundaries; or it can be too much of a good thing, as in the case of those who say they experience porn-induced erectile dysfunction (or, “PIED” as it’s known in the No Fap community).


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