You’re searching for a set of cheekbones, a kind of shape of yes, and exact physique that has nothing to do with the human being underneath that.
Pence: That’s nothing like meeting somebody in person.
It’s very hard to make that happen in online dating because online dating guides people to ask this question – “who am I immediately most attracted to right now?
” We’re taught to look for the person who attracts us and then hope that they share our values and that they inspire us by who they are.
A noted psychologist explains research showing most users take the wrong approach when seeking a good match online, and discusses how they can better their odds of finding true love. Ken Page: It’s a time when people are really thinking about being in a relationship if they’re not already and what that means.
Pence: Ken Page is a psychotherapist in private practice, a popular blogger on Psychology Today and author of the best selling book, Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy.
He offers research-backed ways to find a match that will last.
Page: I think that there are a lot of single people who are very happy being single and might not even want a relationship.Today more than half of American adults are single. The Psychology of Online Dating Reed Pence: Americans are getting married later than ever – the average is age 27 for women and 29 for men.Many are still looking for love–more than 40 million are members of online dating sites, which have their busiest time of the year between now and Valentine’s Day. Many will never get married at all, in fact today more than a half of American adults are single – but they’re still looking for love – Especially now, as Valentines Day approaches.If both partners have that quality of kindness it’s one of the greatest forecasters of a healthy relationship.So, if the two of you were falling head of over heels, that’s glorious and wonderful, but be aware of who that person is, be aware of what your attraction is made of.And what I found is, the ways we search for love really determine the kind of love we find. We search expecting instant attraction and if it doesn’t happen then he or she must not be “the one.” Page: People are presented with these kind of, misty eyed over romanticized images of what love looks like and what love should look like – falling in love at first glance, these passionate sort of immediate experiences of just deeply falling in love and people measure themselves against these kind of over romanticized notions.